Laos is one of the most laid back countries in the world. As evidence to this, here are a couple of our general thoughts and observations from our three months in that beautiful and hospitable country.
In America and much of the world, shopkeepers open early, close late and do everything possible to get sales. Of course, many merchants in Laos also spend their energies in generating sales but a very significant minority (especially those outside of the major cities, which is where the majority of Laotians live) treasure their rest more than their kip (Laos currency). We would often walk into a "store", sometimes no more than a boamboo and thatch hut, to find the proprieter asleep in the hammock or just to damn hot to get up. It seems rather odd to a Western person that someone would allow sales to just walk away but Laos people are not always interested in money. Many of them are quite content with their lifestyle and value their relaxed attitude more than the almighty kip, well actually it's not that almighty but you get our jist. We do not want to mislead the reader, Laotians do not want to be poor but it is a quality of life issue for them that Westerners, with our go-go, money-oriented lifestyle, find it difficult to understand.
Laotians can be very sparse in their choice of words. It seems that their relaxed attitude concerning life comes out in their speech. The most commonly spoken word, more like a grunt or a sound, in Laos is "uh." This is an all-encompassing word that has many different meanings depending on the tone of voice and context. For example, "uh, uh, uh" spoken in quick succession with the sound of "u" as in the word "put" conveys agreement or understanding. "Uh" spoken with a drawn out high-pitched tone connotes surprise and, to complicate matters, it can also be used to grab someone's attention. To make a question or convey a sense of misunderstaning, simple start saying "uh" in a normal tone of voice and raise the tone at the end of the syllable. "Uh" is a nuance of the Lao language that takes a person a couple of weeks to fully appreciate and use properly. As a foreigner, once you start utilizing this useful little sound, Laotians will be quite amused, often laugh and reply with, what else, "uh."
Although the next anecdote takes place in Bangkok, Thailand, it happened at the Laoe Embassy as we were applying for our Laos Visas. The security measures were very Laos, that is to say very relaxed. They did have a metal detector that was in working condition which we had to walk through with our small daypack. As we had a metal compass in our bag, the alarm sounded and we immediately stopped, expecting further inspection. The "inspection" that followed was both amusing and slightly disturbing. The attendant simply felt our bag until he found the object in question, simled and waved us through without identifying what the object in qustion was. We recounted this incident to a friend of ours who had been living in Ubon Ratchathani, Thailand (close to the Laos border) for a year and had visited Laos many times on visa renewal runs. His reply was accurate and conveys a good sense of what Laos is like. He said, "C'mon, it's Laos, they don't hurt anyone. That country is so laid back, who's going to do anything to harm them?" All we could say was, "uh, uh, uh."
On a different note, one of the most endearing things about Laos are the young children, and there are a lot of them. The amount of babies and small children in Laos is staggering. It seems that every woman between the ages of 18 and 40 is either pregnant or has just given birth. There are a few reasons for this trend. Having children to perform prayers, offerings and other cultural obligations for ancestors is extremely important. The family reigns supreme in Laos and it is the most vital organizational unit in this communist country. Another reason is the high rate of child mortality, having many children will ensure the survival of some. We knew one woman who had given birth to 11 children and only 5 survived. The relative peace and stability that Laos has been experiencing in the last decade or so also contributes to the onslaught of children that greets a traveller. No longer in upheaval, Laotians are looking toward the future with a postive attitude. They can raise a child who does not have to look forward to war or abject poverty. Probably the biggest reason for this baby boom is the lack of sex education and access to contraception. Although many women hint, in a roundabout way, of wanting contraception, this is still unatainable for the majority of women for cultural and economic reasons. The importance of raising a family is so prevalent in Laos that if you are travelling as a couple that have been together for many years, as we have, and do not have children and are not planning to have children, it is easier to say that you want children, "just not yet." Of course, for us, this was always followed by our Laos friends saying, "When you come back to Laos, you must bring your babies." Notice, the plural, not just baby but babies.
With so many children running around Laos, a foreign traveller will inevitably have many encounters with these little rascals. The first thing that struck us about Laos children is their maturity and the level of responsibility entrusted to them by their parents. You will often see a 5 year old gird holding her 2 year old sister making sure that see eats and bathes and behaves. We have also seen a 10 year old boy take out the boat with his 7 year old borther in search of the family's dinner. When a group of children are gathered together, the elder girls (approximately 8 to 10 years old) act like mothers to the rest of the group, in imitation of their own mothers. One time, as we were sitting in a restaurant in Don Det, we saw Noy, a 2 year old girl, emerge from the kitchen with an 8 inch blade and some vegetables. Shocked, we immidiately grabbed the knife and put it back in the kitchen. Just a short time afterwards, her mother came back and calmly handed Noy the knife and vegetables and let her be perfectly content to chop away. Granted, the blade was not the sharpest in the world but in America, Noy's parents would have been arrested for endangerment. The children in Laos are just given responsibility at a younger age and they become extremely capable and mature because of it; it is truly one of the most striking and memorable features of a visit to Laos. Of course, they are still kids who love to play and laugh. Every morning, Noy and her brother, Sidae, would sit on the edge of our bungalow and try to wake us up by singing. For the next two hours, they would play with us and join us in fishing off our porch. This close interaction with the children of Laos is something that we will treasure always and made it difficult for us to say goodbye to these wonderful little men and women.
